An FAQ for People Against Pride Month
Respectfully answering common questions from those against the LGBTQ+ community
Since the beginning of June, it seems as if I’m unable to escape hatred against the LGBTQ+ community and Pride Month in general. Even innocent Instagram posts consisting of decorating cupcakes in rainbow frosting seems to trigger the homophobia in everyone. It feels like there are more bigoted comments than supportive ones.
I have noticed a pattern however; there is rudeness on both sides. Those making Pride Month posts may insert something like “if you’re homophobic, don’t bother commenting; no one wants you here; bye!”, or something similar, in the caption. And those against Pride comment things like “stay away from our children” and “why isn’t there a straight pride month?”
Today, I’ve decided to use my precious time to create an FAQ page for questions and concerns I’ve seen over and over again in angry Instagram comments. Why am I doing this you ask? Because pride month is not only about supporting those who are trans or gay; it represents equality for all. And I truly believe that behind all those homophobic comments are real people with real concerns who want their voices heard, but are going about it the wrong way.
Frequently Asked Questions by Those Against Pride Month, Answered Respectfully
Pictured above is a cute puppy tilting his head in a confused look. I hope he puts everyone at ease.
“Why Isn’t There a Straight Pride Month?”
When I was in high school and believed I was straight, I actually would say the same thing. Not exactly in a homophobic way, but I felt left out of all the parades and celebrations because I felt I didn’t fit in. Eventually I found myself running into the middle of a pride parade on a busy street of Boston, Massachusetts, and it was incredibly fun.
Here is what I learned: straight people belong at pride too. Pride month isn’t about bisexual pride, gay pride, pansexual pride, trans pride, etc. It’s about equality for all. It represents that we all should be created equal, have the same rights, and not be treated differently. Those who wanted to marry those of the same sex were not able to for the majority of the time the United States has been a country.
Those who are gay should not point fingers either and say that straight people have always had the same rights. Interracial marriage, meaning those wanting to marry someone of another race (more specifically a white person marrying a black person), was not legal in the U.S until 1967 when the Supreme Court ruling of Loving v. Virginia was passed. This has more to do with racial inequality than heterosexual inequality, but it’s something that both sides forget was a very recent phenomenon.
When I see this question asked in an Instagram comment, it is mainly brought up with animosity rather than genuine curiosity. However, if you want to bring attention specifically to places where heterosexual inequality has been seen throughout the world, bring it to people’s attention and create a day, week, or month where those who identify as straight can celebrate and bring attention to places where your community is misunderstood. And if you don’t want to do that, know that you are more than welcome at pride festivals.
“Why is the LGBTQ+ agenda being pushed onto our kids?”
The Owl House; Luz & Amity Blushing — source
Since I am not a parent, I cannot see this question through the same lens as those who are parents. However, I can answer this as someone who didn’t know his own sexuality until much later in life.
As a kid, even up to age 10 or 11, I hated seeing people kiss on a TV show or movie. This was usually the case when one of my parents was in the room watching it with me, but I would even skip kissing and sex scenes when I was alone. And yes I was watching movies with kissing and sex scenes in them when I was a kid; my dad had a large DVD and VHS collection, and believe it or not, kids can check-out R-rated movies from the public library.
I was disgusted by it because it was foreign to me; it didn’t matter if it was a man kissing a woman or a gay couple kissing. It was all the same to me.
From the representation on TV shows and movies, I grew up learning that women kissing women was sexual, men kissing men was gross, and men kissing women was normal, but still gross. There was even a gay wrestler on WWE Friday Night Smackdown who would stun his opponents by kissing them and then pin them for the 3-count.
It wasn’t until I was 17 in a sociology class that I learned that being gay wasn’t a choice. People were attracted to the same sex not because they thought it would be a fun, sexy time, but because they liked them. They liked each other in the same way I felt about my female crushes throughout my life. Including being nervous while talking to them, picturing my life with them before we even said hello to one another, and simply wanting to kiss them because.. I wanted to kiss them!
Thankfully, there is now representation on Disney shows like The Owl House, where Luz blushes in front of Amity and complex feelings exist throughout the course of the show. Girls and boys who grow up watching this and other shows with representation will quickly learn that behavior is normal. If a girl has feelings for another girl, it’s normal. If a guy happens to find another guy attractive, it’s normal and isn’t something they’ll be made fun of for or something they should be ashamed of.
If you don’t want your kids watching these shows, you’re more than welcome to use parental controls and block them from watching specific channels or shows. The LGBTQ+ community is not here to tell you how to parent. Just remember that your children are, and always will be complex human beings with their own individual thoughts and feelings despite what they are blocked from watching.
“Why are people gay and transgender? Don’t they know it’s a sin? It’s offensive to my religious beliefs.”
Something that genuinely makes the United States unique over other countries is allowing its citizens the freedom to practice whatever religion they choose. Other countries in the world can arrest and even kill those who do not practice the nation’s “primary” religion.
This means that those who are gay most likely are not from Christian households, and if they are, they have to hide who they are due to fear of being kicked out of their home for being who they are. This may turn them into an atheist or steer them in another direction of a more welcoming religion. Those who are gay and transgender do not care about the possibility of going to Hell.
If seeing Pride content offends you and/or triggers you to write hateful comments or say hateful things in person, you may want to talk to a mental health professional or simply adjust your use of social media. Your level of anger and frustration for seeing Pride-related content is not the fault of those celebrating Pride, but rather your own misuse of social media and controlling your emotions.
“How can a child be transgender? They can’t possibly know what they want when their brains are still developing.”
To answer this question requires many things, including:
1) A medical background (which I do not have).
2) Knowledge of psychology and mental health on a graduate level (again, I do not have).
3) Have the brain of a transgender developing child.
What I do have is life experiences and the knowledge of how a transgender person feels based on friendships and my own journey with gender identity.
First, we need to trust medical professionals and the brilliant work they do. If a paper in a medical journal says that hormone therapy is safe for children of a certain age, then we need to accept that. If you’re worried about how HRT will affect your child, schedule an appointment with their primary care doctor who can address your specific questions to your concerns.
Next, I want to once again point out that I’m not a parent; however, I do know that the more freedom you give a child, the happier they are overall. I realize this is an incredibly broad statement, but as someone who was once a child, I can agree with my own statement.
For example, if your child seems to be attracted to a certain sport such as soccer, rock climbing, boating, etc, then you should listen to them. Do everything you can to give them opportunities to have more experiences with that sport or hobby. Sit down and talk with them about what they like and don’t like about it. Get to know them like the human being they are. The same thing goes for gender-affirming care. Maybe your child will find they don’t like how it’s affecting their body, and they can go off of those meds (ask their primary care doctor first, of course).
What the LGBTQ+ community wants is for those opportunities to be available to those who need them. If your doctor doesn’t recommend them for your child in their specific circumstance, then that’s fine. But that doesn’t mean other children cannot benefit from gender-affirming medications.
To better understand how HRT affects children, feel free to read this journal entry by medical professionals. You can find more like it from multiple viewpoints on scholar.google.com.
Please Leave Feedback Below!
Do you have questions that I didn’t pose here? Do you have genuine questions for the LGBTQ+ community? Did I get a fact wrong?
Leave comments below and let me know. I want the comment section to remain civil and respectful. I took time out of my day to write this and respond to questions from those against pride month in as respectful a way as possible.
I expect all of you to do the exact same. Ask questions full of curiosity and treat each other with kindness as complex human beings.
~Justin